Monday, October 17, 2005

Omnivores, how's about we leave each other alone?

Today a woman I work with inquired about my veganism. Her inquiry was then followed by her asking if my wife is vegan (she is). She then went on to ask what we're going to do, you know, for milk, when we have kids.

"You mean breastmilk?" You never know how dumb people might really be. You just don't.

Turns out she meant when they're little, what will we do to insure they get what they need, to quote Dead Prez, their "vitamins and minaroos."

This was after I explained that I would try to strike a balance between giving a child a choice while still engaging in the unavoidable parental task of imposing my own morality upon said child. (That sounds horrible, I know, but every parent must do it, and no one - save for the insane - complain about parents imposing their opposition to racism upon their children, so why shouldn't I impose my opposition to dairy?)

So I delicately explained my knowledge of nutrition, how calcium is most easily absorbed by the body when it is not accompanied by animal protein, how I try to be very low-key about my veganism (uh, I didn't mention the blog) for fear of coming off like so many self-righteous vegan fucks tend to.

"You know, you catch more bees with honey and all that, or however it goes."

But damn, by then, my lunch break had been ruined. And why is it that I have to be the adult, the one who acts with civility? She gets to ask me all sorts of questions that are none of her business, laced with her own judgements about my decisions, and I sit politely and explain myself, when all I really wanted to do was say something like this:

"Look, bitch, your fat, conservative, 'racisim-doesn't-exist'-saying ass would do well to get back into college, as you sure as hell don't know how to teach and maybe you'd be able to catch a nutrition class or two, or, shit, I don't know, be forced to be surrounded by ideas different than the dusty, antiquated ones you've managed to cram into your misinformed skull. And while you're at it, leave me alone!"

Now all that remains is to accidentally forget to erase the signature in my e-mail, the one that advertises this blog, when sending something to the entire staff at school, and be summarily canned, or, for those in the know, dooced.


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