Saturday, April 29, 2006

the bad waitress. turns out it's bad.

just what the world needs, another fucking hipster diner. i had actually been looking forward to trying the bad waitress out, if you know what i mean. oh, sorry, you probably don't. well, the bad waitress is the name of this new restaurant that opened in town, associated loosely (or not, i guess i'm not sure) with the spyhouse coffee shop down the street.

don't get me wrong, it's beautiful on the inside, keeping nicely with the midcentury/post wwii style that spyhouse does so well. the problem, in my opinion, is that in opening a restaurant one should put as much time into their fucking menu as they do prettying the place up for all the art school students in the neighborhood. my wife and i both ordered tofu scrambles. now, i'm not new at this, so i know that this is typically a gamble, bought having heard some good things about the place, i figured why the fuck not. they were supposed to have good coffee, and, later in the day, a good beer selection, so i figured they deserved a chance. i wanted it to work, too, i really did.

it turns out that their interpretation of a tofu scramble involves large cubes of tofu that are neither marinated nor fried for any discernible amount of time, served in my case with my three veggie choices (one of which was extra), broccoli, mushrooms, and onions. the veggies were good (canned mushrooms, but that's fine at a diner), but the onions were really weird. i would have expected them to be diced, but instead they were served in fine rings, which seemed an odd choice for this type of meal. also, there was no scramble component, which is always confusing.

the hashbrowns were satisfactory, my wife's homefries were dry. they were out of lemonade, so she had an orange juice, which is hard to screw up. i ordered a two-cup pot of green tea, having had a lot of coffee earlier in the morning. the tea was presented beautifully, on a tray that had a little indentation for the pot. unfortunately, it was bitter, completely indiscernible as a green tea.

having pretty much exhausted the vegan options at the bad waitress (unless i decide to go there and pay someone to serve me a boca burger, which seems a bit retarded), i have to give it a big surly vegan "fuck no".

the thing of it is, with a restaurant, sure atmosphere is important, but it should really be all about the food. case in point: evergreen taiwanese is down the street. we almost went there, but as it wasn't quite eleven, they were still closed. this is a place with subpar atmosphere to say the least, and that's not just because they're in a basment, although it doesn't help. on top of that, they served me squid once. Squid! but i still would have rather eaten there than wasted my time and money at the bad waitress, despite the beautiful surroundings.

but, you know, who the fuck am i?